At times, talking about sex and condoms can sometimes be hard, even a bit embarrassing. So how do you bring it up? Read on for some handy tips.
You simply need to be clear and confident and let your partner know that you want to use condoms and why. Make sure this conversation takes place well before the heat of the moment- it’s hard to discuss this right in the middle of things! Also, keep in mind that alcohol and drugs can affect your ability to discuss condom use, so don’t leave this important conversation until you’re already affected. If you’re having a one night stand, or the sex is unplanned, pull one out and say “condom?” before you’re about to have sex. It really is as simple as that. Make sure you plan ahead and take a couple of condoms out with you.
Will your partner think you don’t trust them?
Talking about condoms has nothing to do with trust. It doesn’t mean you don’t trust your partner (or vice versa!). Anyone who has a sexual history can have an STI, even if you’ve only had sex with one other person, and even if you’ve only had oral sex. Talking about condoms (and using them!) shows you care about your health…and theirs too.
Is being on the pill is enough?
The pill is a contraceptive only (stops you getting pregnant), so it won’t protect you against an STI. What will protect you from an STI AND an unplanned pregnancy? Yep, you guessed it, condoms! Make sure you chat about this too so you both know how to be as safe as possible.
Want to stop using condoms in your relationship?
If you’re in a relationship and want to stop using condoms then we only have one thing to ask of you both: get tested first. It’s a huge advantage for both you and your partner to visit your GP, get tested and then enjoy all the sex you want. Keep in mind however that to avoid unwanted pregnancy you still need to use a contraceptive such as the pill.
Remember that most STIs have no symptoms, so you or your partner may have an STI without knowing it. So do the right thing by both of you and get tested.
Here’s what you can say
Sometimes it’s hard to find the right words when talking about condoms and safe sex. So here are a few common scenarios to help you out.
They say: I’m on the pill
You say: I understand, but that won’t protect against STIs
They say: I’ll pull out with plenty of time
You say: As soon as you’re in, it’s too late
They say: They don’t make condoms big enough
You say: Don’t worry, they stretch! I can’t wait to see that!
They say: They’re such a passion killer
You say: Don’t worry, I’m creative
They say: We’re monogamous, we don’t need them
You say: How about we get tested first
They say: If you loved me you’d agree
You say: If you loved me you’d wear one
They say: I don’t have a condom with me
You say: Ok let’s go get some